Let us first be “good” human beings…

From the words of my teacher during the Moral Science classes to just this evening, during a discussion, this is something I have kept hearing. Heard it so many times that it had almost lost its existence. But today, I thought about it. Finally, I thought I should think about it. Being good, what does it actually mean? Isn’t good a relative word?

My mother in law once told me to give salty halwa to a bachelor saying that he comes from a poor family and would not have even eaten salty halwa and so it is a privilege for him to get salty halwa — I did not give it and told her that what she is trying to do is mean. So in this scenario, I was bad to her but good for goodness sake. My mother, just yesterday said that her neighbour is hail and hearty even though she is as old as her and she feels bad that her neighbour is doing fine while she isn’t. I had to tell her that it was not right to think like that. She obviously felt I was bad to her.

I find it now funny when people preach goodness. In a time and age when we have no time to even give few minutes to our loved ones to listen to how they feel, isn’t asking for goodness too much to ask? We have time for only ourselves - our ambition, our interests, our everything! Where do we have time to think of others? Relationships have become need based more than ever today.

I thought or rather many of us or rather the world thought that the pandemic is going to teach us more about relationships, love and people, teach us how to be together. But here we are, almost reaching the end of the pandemic but right there, where we were before it all started. I look a round me to see more selfishness, more hurt, more rat race, more grief, more turbulent relationships and intolerance towards each other.

Being good to each other is very very far away. Can we begin just by being able to tolerate one another? To be able to tolerate someone, acceptance is important. Acceptance cannot be one way and this is for all those lovely people in relationships trying to “work” things out. And acceptance is not asking someone to change but being part of that journey one takes to be with the other given all the so called strengths and weakness of that person.

“Good” is a very loosely used word just like many other words like love, hate, care and may be many more. From childhood, we are asked to be “good” by constantly being exposed to selfish acts all around us. An act is “good” only if it benefits someone and in most cases the someone has to be us.

I have stopped using the phrase “good human being” as I really don’t know what it means. Truly clueless given what I have seen as being interpreted or meant in several cases and situations in my own life. And many times, I’ve even wondered, “ How can I be good to someone who is not good to me?” And yes, I’ve not been to good to everyone, there have been times and there are still times and instances where I have not been able to forgive and be good to certain people. And instead of trying to portray a higher self image, I would rather want to be true and honest about my feelings. But what I would do is definitely render help if these people need it — that is “good” enough for me.

So, all I’d like to say is instead of just saying — “let us be good human beings”, let us be tolerant human beings who can set aside differences when there is suffering and render a helping hand no matter who it might be that needs help. That is perhaps just good enough!