Arranged Marriages…

I facilitate the Global Perspective syllabus in my school for the older children. Although we are given topics to work around, I like to bring in topics other than those too. After all, the objective is not just to teach or engage with what is specified in the syllabus but to go much beyond that.

Last week, while discussing about bias, I shared an article on arranged marriages in India and suggested that they write about their bias or find out why there is a bias? I consider myself very lucky to be able to have these discussions with these young learners because every discussion is an enlightenment — things that probably never cross my mind come in the forefront.

What was interesting when I read their write up was that most of their bias was based on what happens around them — a lot of their perspectives come from what they witness in their families, many had their discussions limited to family members and concluded this is what it is. I realised that as parents, we all have to understand that what we do, what happens around these children or young adults, in the family is what becomes the reference point for them.

Children absorb from what they see, what they listen to, what they hear and what they experience. While I say this, it definitely does not mean that we project to them a fantasy — no arguments, no fights — that is not the point but mutual respect, the ability to forgive, the ability to stand up for oneself in a respectful way, accept differences, adapt, make small adjustments and most importantly let go of things that are not really important but also never give up values and principles to please each other or anyone.

I am not saying I am right but this has helped me survive, respect and make the best out of my “arranged marriage” without any bias. I would have loved to share their write up as well, may be I will at some point….